Aviation for Women

JUL-AUG 2018

Aviation for Women is the flagship member publication of Women in Aviation International. Articles feature women who have made aviation history, professional development ideas, and current-topic articles.

Issue link: https://afwdigital.epubxp.com/i/995717

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Page 23 of 52

J U L Y / A U G U S T 2 0 1 8 AviationforWomen 21 According to experts, body language, facial expression, tone, pitch, and cadence make up more than 90 percent of how we communi- cate leaving less than 10 percent for words. Women have a tendency to tip their head—a telltale sign they lack confidence. Speak with your head straight. Stand straight with both feet on the ground, hips squared. This sends a message—both to your subconscious and to the listener—that you are rooted, unshakable, and assertive. To communicate that you are assertive, genuine, and compe- tent, avoid these words that can steal a woman's power: Just "Just" is synonymous with "only"—just $5.99! So when we say things in business like, "I just have a question…" or, "It's just me checking in…" what we communicate to others is, "It's only me." Sorry We way overused "sorry" as teenagers: "Sorry, I forgot my home- work," "Sorry, I forgot to put gas in the car," "Sorry, I forgot where I left your car!" Sorry as an opener sounds trite, insincere, and lis- teners tune out. I'm Canadian; as adults we use it (erroneously) for a host of meanings: We bump into someone on the elevator and say sorry when in fact it's more appropriate to say excuse me. We see someone having a meltdown and say sorry when what may be more appropriate is, "I feel for you." Someone disagrees with us and we say, "Sorry, but that's the way it is." You're not sorry; you disagree! So be genuine and say, "We don't agree on this—what can we agree on?" The genuine use of the word sorry is this: If you got the chance to live that moment over, you'd do something different. What it's not appropriate for is when it's meant in place of, "Sorry, I was hoping you didn't see that!" So what about when we genuinely would do things better given the chance to relive that moment? Then, yes, by all means apolo- gize—don't put sorry at the beginning of the sentence. Instead of, "Sorry I got those numbers to you late; I didn't realize they'd affect your timeline," try, "I didn't realize that getting those numbers to you late would affect your timeline; I'm sorry." (I like "I apologize" because it makes me mindful of my level of sorry-ness.) But But is a connector word. It takes two independent sentences and connects them to make them interdependent. "I'd love to give you a raise, but we have a wage freeze." "I'd love to get you help, but I'm not sure who is qualified." "I love you, but…" (That's one that's never going to bode well!) Instead, take out the "but." Say each sentence as an indepen- dent feature: "I'd love to give you a raise; we have a wage freeze on right now." "I'd love to get you some additional resources; I'm not sure who is qualified." and "I love you; you tick me off some- times!" You get the point. No Problem (or No Worries) Ever played mini putt? Repeating, "Don't let it go in the water," guar- antees your golf ball will head straight for the water hazard. Why? Because the mind doesn't understand words like don't, won't, can't, not, no, shouldn't. Author Jack Canfield says, "Tell people what you want them to do; don't tell them what you don't want them to do!" When you say, "No problem," the listener hears "problem"— and that problem is them! Replace it with, "You're welcome," or better yet, why not what Petro Canada, Delta hotels, and Canada's Wonderland teaches their staff to say: "My pleasure!" ✈ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Chief Juicer Glynis E. Devine is a bilingual communications and purpose expert, from Montreal, Canada, who helps female leaders squeeze the best out of life before life squeezes the best out of them. Dirty Words Your Mama Didn't Teach You! Dirty Words Your Mama Didn't Teach You! COLOURBOX.COM

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